This is better than helping others
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I am always looking for that moment when something I deeply believe in is turned upside down. That might unnerve some people, but for me it gives me a high…I LIVE for that moment! I cannot fully explain what it provides me with, it is a combination of realizing how much I still have to learn (and I love to learn) and a reminder of how mysterious this world can be (and I love exploring). Last month I was in an intensive leadership retreat in beautiful Sonoma. One of the exercises we did flipped my view on Helping and Fixing.
What I learned was how often we are eager to help others, but often we do not take the time to understand if they even want the help. I learned how often we do not take the time to investigate what would be the best help for the needs of a person or situation. Often we want to fix and by doing so we cheat others of the process of finding their own way. We believe we see a “problem” and we want to help, we want to fix, we want it to look the way we believe it should look. We “must” help, we must “fix”, we have the answer and we need to act! Worse yet, we help with judgment.
Well, how about forgetting helping and fixing and being of Service? Showing up and providing what is best for that person, situation, experience, without judgment and criticism? The below poem captures it all…
“A Fixer”
A fixer has the illusion of being casual.
A server knows he or she is being used
In the service of something greater, essentially unknown.
We fix something specific.
We serve always the something:
Wholeness and the mystery of life
Fixing and helping are the work of the ego.
Serving is the work of the soul.
When you help, you see life as weak.
When you fix you see life as broken.
When you serve, you see life as whole.
Fixing and helping may cure,
Service heals.
When I help, I feel satisfaction.
When I serve, I feel gratitude.
Fixing is a form of judgment.
Serving is a form of connection.
Author Unknown
Judith