What to do when you have had a bad day

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A while back, I had a very bad day.  I had shopped for a new phone and the tech rep gave me some pretty bad advice.  The advice resulted in me spending 2 hours on a Sunday morning on the phone with customer service, and 5 hours in the afternoon back at the retail store. Seven full hours of my most precious day of the week.  My husband and I had planned to spend quality time together cooking a few new recipes.  Instead, we were barely able to speak in-between my explaining and arguing with customer service. 

At the end of the day I was drained; and then I realized how often we have unexpected bad days that come out of nowhere.  Our computer crashes deleting hours of hard work.  A fire drill at work derails all of our plans.  We get into a fight with a family member. 

Often, when these things happen, we fall into the trap of ruminating in our head for much more time than we should.  I certainly used to do that.  Here’s how I kept 7 hours from turning into 8, 9 or 10 hours of rumination:

  • I accepted the facts.  Many times we want to fight reality.  We try to change the past (my favorite definition of forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot be changed). We get stuck in denial.  At some point that day, I accepted that I needed to clean up the mess and I stopped fighting it, which helped with much of the resentment I was beginning to build.
  • I practiced mindfulness.  Mindfulness is the practice of observing what arises in the present moment without judgement.  You can choose to observe something internally, such as your feelings, emotions, or thoughts, or focus on something external, such as outside noises and smells.   Science is beginning to prove the benefits of practicing mindfulness, such as the reduction of stress, anxiety, and depression.  Mindfulness is a form of meditation; if you want to start a meditation practice or deepen an existing one, here are some great guided meditations: http://bit.ly/2tzjDmE
  • I practiced gratitude.  Like mindfulness, science is beginning to prove the benefits of gratitude.  Practitioners of gratitude have stronger immune systems, have lower blood pressure, are more likely to have positive emotions, and are more likely to feel joy and pleasure.  On that day, I started making a list of the things I was grateful for in that moment: (1) being blessed enough to have been able to purchase a new phone, (2) having a partner support me while I deal with the technical issues, (3) finding customer service reps that wanted to help, (4) having time to read my many books while I waited on hold.  It’s phenomenal to see how this practice can immediately changes our mood!
  • I set my intention for the remainder of the evening.  Once I walked out of the store I made the decision that the unfortunate experience will not define the few hours left in my Sunday.  I closed my eyes and thought of what I wanted for those remaining hours… (1) spend time with my husband and (2) relax in bed with a cup of tea.  I dusted myself off, put my eye on the ball, and got it done. 

I hope this article is of service to you.

Do you know someone who has had a bad day and would benefit from this article? Share it with them.  As always, leave a comment or question below, I would love to hear from you.  

Judith