Something bothers you? Here’s what to do with it
/One of the best practices I have ever learned to do has been turning towards my mind and body and looking at something when it is bothering me. Usually, we tend to turn away. We do not want to look at it, deal with it, or even acknowledge it. Sometimes, we try to cover it up with food, shopping, and other distractions (some of which can be quite unhealthy). Yet, I have learned that when I am willing to recognize that I am upset, turn towards those feelings, and look at what could be underneath them, I am able to soar into a better version of myself. Next time you feel these feelings: anger, annoyance, sadness, disappointment, anxiety, nervousness….fill in the blank…follow these steps:
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- Acknowledge that you are feeling something that isn’t pleasant. For example, I was recently going to an important lunch meeting, and right beforehand I could feel my stomach start to knot up and my throat dry out a bit. I started there. I closed my eyes, acknowledged that I was feeling these feelings, and felt those two sensations for a few minutes.
- Try to take a first stab at identifying what the feelings could be. In my case, I identified it as nervousness.
- Ask: What is this here to teach me? What is this here to show me? Whatever is coming up is coming up for a reason. It is coming up to show us important information that otherwise might lay dormant. More importantly, it is here to teach us something valuable that will help you evolve into a much grander version of yourself. Some examples of emotions and what they could be pointing to:
- Nervousness: I will use myself as an example. When I asked myself “What is this nervousness I am feeling showing me?” I realized that in this particular situation, I had been undervaluing my worth and believed I did not have as much to offer as the other party I was meeting. I asked myself “What is this here to teach me?” and I was reminded that only I define my value, and if I could take a moment to evaluate my worth I could see that there was nothing to be nervous about, that I bring as much value to this particular meeting as the other party.
- Annoyance: A great example is when we get annoyed at particular situations (meetings starting late, someone asking us to complete work that is not our responsibility) and how often it is a result of unestablished and uncommunicated boundaries. When I get annoyed at a situation and I ask myself what the annoyance is showing me, I often discover a boundary that is being stepped on because I never communicated it. When I ask myself “What is this annoyance here to teach me?” I realize it is here to teach me how to stand up for myself as it’s the only way my boundaries will ever be respected. Powerful.
- Anger: Have you ever gotten angry at a friend and wanted to just brush it off and have a good time? If you ask yourself what the anger is here to show you, it might show you some disrespect that you may have experienced with this friend. What is it here to teach you? Potentially how to resolve conflict, or in some cases, how to let a friend go.
- Anxiety: If you are willing to look at your anxiety and ask yourself what it is showing you, it might be pointing to an unhealed wound from an experience in the past. If you are willing to ask what the anxiety is here to teach you, it might be that it is here to teach you how to heal an overdue trigger and pain.
- Be grateful. After I take the above steps, I can’t help this final one. I am grateful for the important information that has been revealed to me and the opportunity to learn something valuable that will help me evolve into a much grander version of yourself. How else would I grow, learn and evolve? These opportunities are golden and a simple thank you stated within myself, “Thank you for showing me this and helping me learn what I need to learn”, is all I have to do. Almost immediately that which was bothering me decreases…or goes away all together.
I hope this helps! I would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, share it with your friends and family!
Lots of love,
Judith