A popular cultural word that has no place in my life

Recently, wrapping up a wonderful workshop with strong, powerful women

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with a family member about the premature birth of the baby of a friend.  Fortunately, both mother and baby are doing superbly well.  In that moment, I was approximately 35-36 weeks and I started talking about what would happen if I went into premature labor (steps that should be taken, action plan, etc.).  This family member plainly told me “No, I think you can endure (“aguantar”) your pregnancy until the very end”.

These are the definitions of endure when you look it up in the dictionary: (1) to suffer something difficult or painful patiently, (2) to sustain without impairment, (3) to put up with…among many other similar definitions.  I have to admit, when I first heard this, I knew something was off, but I wasn’t 100% sure.  “Aguantar”, or “endure”, is a word that I have heard a million times; I was raised with this word constantly being repeated.  Anytime discomfort, disappointment, or pain was expressed, most of the time the advice would be to endure through it.  People around me that were capable of enduring a lot were held in high esteem.  These people themselves wore their accomplishment with great pride, at times telling long and detailed tales of the great sacrifice, the incredible lows, and how their ability to endure allowed them to overcome it all. 

Let’s place the fact that this word was used in relation to pregnancy aside.  I wonder why this word is so common in my culture.  Is it the Catholic influence?  What leads us to glorify the ability to “aguantar”?  And not just “aguantar” once or a little bit, but often and a lot.  I am pretty sure getting to a better understanding of this will take a bit of time.  Now let’s go back to how such glorification could lead to very dangerous ways of thinking: Who in the world can choose to endure a pregnancy until the end??  These are the moments when I feel great disappointment in the safety (and some would say sanity) of many of the traditions, customs, and ways of thinking that have been passed down from generation to generation.  The challenge: Evolving while maintaining all that is beautiful in my culture.   

Are there aspects of your own culture that you have outgrown, whether emotionally, mentally, or even physically? How do you think you would react if someone told you this?  I would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below.  If you enjoyed this post, share it with your friends and family!

Lots of love,

Judith