WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
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Me and the 7+ month baby bump on the panel :)
My recent newsletter has been quite popular. I thus want to share it with you all here in case you missed it! Here it is:
I hope this email finds you well! A couple of weeks ago I was asked to participate on a panel at the Latina’s Think Big summit at Twitter in San Francisco. If you aren’t familiar with Latina’s Think Big, I invite you to take a look at this great organization. Its founder, Angelica Perez-Litwin, is committed to the advancement of the careers and influence of Latinas; it is absolutely great to see the work she is putting forth!
At the summit, our panel was asked a very good question: How can we (Latina’s) talk about our accomplishments without sounding like we are bragging? Given my work in leadership and wellness, this was right up my ally! Today, I would like to share some background on the conversation, along with a tool I constantly use myself.
There are two forces that come into play here, external and internal. For Latinas, the question is quite relevant given our culture’s emphasis on humility (not a bad thing depending on how it is taught and used), the disempowerment women have historically experienced within the culture (can you say machismo?), among other external factors. Yet the question is relevant for everyone; different cultures and backgrounds have their own set of influencers. So let’s talk about the internal forces; one in particular: Intention. Here’s how I manage my experience when I seek to speak of my accomplishments:
- I am very clear that any action that I take comes from a place of either love or fear. I wrote a quick article on this a while back, which you can find here. At any given moment, I try my hardest to be aware of what is fueling my intention, is it love or is it fear?
- Before I speak, I use this acronym, which I have learned from several teachers: W.A.I.T.
- Why
- Am
- I
- Talking?
- This helps me pause and determine the intention behind what I am about to say. Am I talking out of fear or out of love? What does that look like?
- Fear: I need to validate myself. I am feeling insecure around X, Y, Z person and I need to prove myself. I am feeling threatened and small, so I better make sure I tell this person who I am. I don’t feel much love these days, if I share I’ll get admiration from those that are listening to me and get what I need. I am scared things will be taken away from me, or worse yet, that there isn’t enough to go around; let me scare people away with how much I’ve done. You get the picture.
- Love: I want to share with others my stories so that they can learn from what I have done, inspire them to accomplish their own goals, and be of service so that they can achieve everything I am sharing and MORE. I share so that those I am sharing with can build, acquire, create and in turn become their best self, which at the end of the day will serve every single person around them. I choose to share so that there is more abundance created. My intention thus becomes a reflection of my confidence in something bigger than myself, where sharing helps the greater good…me, you, them, us.
Nothing good comes out of sharing from fear. Everyone around you knows something is off, will become uncomfortable, and eventually will choose to distance themselves. This actually ends up fulfilling all of your worst worries that made you talk from fear to begin with.
Once you check yourself (before you wreck yourself), share freely from love. When you want the person in front of you to have all that they want in life and you share from this place, it is incredible what begins to happen. People start gravitating towards you; they can’t get enough of you and want to be near you as much as possible. People start offering to help you. Doors start opening you didn’t even know existed. Incredible abundance is created…for everyone. Try it.
Let me know how it goes! I would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below. If you enjoyed this post, share it with your friends and family!
Lots of love,
Judith