90% accuracy in predicting divorce among newlyweds?
/My husband and I are big Gottman fans, a psychologist focused on marriage and relationship analysis, who claims 90% accuracy in predicting the probability of divorce among newlyweds. There are many Gottman tools for strengthening relationships. Below is “The Sound Relationship House” tool and a recap of the theory behind it:
1. Build Love Maps – Know one another one. Ask open-ended questions so you can understand each other’s inner world
2. Share Fondness and Admiration – Change the habit of mind of scanning the environment for mistakes and then correcting them, to scanning the environment for what the other is doing right and building a culture of appreciation, fondness, affection, and respect
3. Turn Towards - Build awareness of how a partner asks for connection and expresses emotional needs, and decide to turn toward these bids (rather than turning away or against them)
4. The Positive Perspective – Having this determines many things, including the presence of positive affect in problem solving discussions
5. Manage Conflict - Accept your partners influence, dialogue about problems, and practice self-soothing
6. Make Life Dreams Come True - Help each other realize important life dreams that each individual has
7. Create Shared Meaning – Intentionally create a “shared meaning” for life together (build a life together that is full of meaning that is shared)